Tuesday, February 21, 2006

A Bad Day and NewDotNet

Before even posting this blog entry, I fought with myself a few times. I was unsure of posting because I did not have anything to post (which was obviously a lie of my lazy consciousness), and because it was one of those days where even if the most fragrant words were used, the portrait formed was a landscape of despair. (It's not really that bad, but it's quite bad.)

I was late in waking up. So much for having awoken properly today. Nothing really went well; I almost fainted from inhaling copious amounts of aromatic formalin while mutilating a dead frog. At least our Chemistry exam was postponed because of university incidents. Thank God, (and this isn't sarcastic. Thank God.) but it's sad I can't even rejoice because of my stomach. I think my ulcers are awakening once more, trying to zombify my stomach into scar tissue.

I also have a headache, probably because I didn't take a bath today. Yes. I was trying not to be late (which I was, though) so I didn't take a bath. It isn't easy juggling stomach upheaval with a pounding head.

There is still, and always beauty amidst the darkest depths of life. Some find it in their God, (which I do, but not now) and I found it today on two small bottles of Yakult, although this day was far from among the bleakest in my life.

I know this may well continue; perhaps my scores for the lecture exam aren't satisfying enough for me. (I hope I don't appear grade-conscious enough. :#) There is still a seed of beauty even among storms of sadness. I don't see it right now because I am blinded by the quest for grades. I'll probably see it tomorrow when I wake up to a new morning.


Regrets filled me today. But I'm not an old man yet.

*sighs to release all hot air inside my head*

I was never really good in Biology when compared to computing. I could easily ace computing with not too much effort, which I often really ace because of the efforts I put up. Just today, I studied about the actions and mechanisms of installation of New.net, an advertising company also purported to purvey spyware. (Why do all my blogs come back to topics about computers?)

I read some articles of Ben Edelman (a known anti-spyware zealot) in his website. (The specific article is linked here.) The link contains the installation practices of this advertisement company, and shows its insidiousness. Another site, CounterExploitation contains more specific information on the nature of the company and the program itself. (The article is linked here. I suggest you click that link.)

I just can't seem to get enough of spyware and computers (as if that's a good thing). However, they are one of the better reasons why I can get by through the day without breaking down. Somehow, I guess, in another world where man can do as he pleases (be sybaritic!) I'm going to be a total geek and get stuck with a computer the whole day. Hey, wait! I'm doing that already here! :)

Life still shines amidst headaches, bullshit, and anything it can throw your way. Why? Because although it throws mud at your face, it also teaches you how to duck. It also teaches you to observe, and to appreciate what it is for what it is worth. (I'm somewhat philosophical today, but I like typing this just to ease the tension that I am feeling inside.)

After writing all that, I don't know how to end this entry. Although no one reads this, my aesthetic sense (especially shining right now) cannot allow me to end this without closure. But I think I've said what I want to: bad things happen, but so do good ones. Life is not all bad, when you look at it, really. It just seems like it because we only learn to observe when we're in deep shit.



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